I feel a little bit of the A term blues trying to infiltrate my new term. I'm not sure why it's hitting today. Maybe it's because I'm constantly getting reminded of how everyone has a boyfriend and how some people manage their time around their boyfriends. They can only hang out with me til a certain time and then it's back to the boyfriend although they haven't hung out with me in weeks upon weeks. It semi-hurts my feelings everytime any of my friends do this and I know I'm retarded for feeling hurt but I can't help it. I've always had to play the boyfriendless friend. Some people say I have so many different circle of friends so as to not have to deal with people and so as to avoid really letting them see me when I'm vulnerable or when I'm depressed. I think that person is right. You know why? It's because whenever I'm feeling down and out, I REALLY need someone to be there. I can't have crap like "oh here's a hug and we will talk later but I need to go see my bf" That would devastate me. Better for me to isolate myself in my room and cry my tears and just move on. And it's hard to talk to any boy about anything. I dunno. I don't think A term will repeat itself. But I just wish I knew a solution to me feeling hurt. I just wish I could ignore it all. But then again, to be human is to suffer. Call me massively human I guess. Now I am going to shower and shake this vibe off.