Fiona Apple is too good. This song describes perfectly what I feel about my love life and boys and yeah all that junk in general.

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

I was talking with someone about sex and yeah, well I'm tired of people just thinking sex is JUST sex. The general de-valuing of sex is what makes me so pro-abstinence and waiting til marriage. Or at least until I know I am truly in love and really ready. I think of relationships I have seen or heard of, and well it just blows my mind when I hear that they had sex about a week or so or a month into the relationship. I can't imagine that. I have spent 19 years with my virginity and then I meet someone and oh, here ya go! Take it! No. That isn't my style. And it won't ever be my style. And I'm tired of people saying it's a worthless style.

My crushes (the crushes as in the act of crushing, not the actually person) are so dumb. I should become anti-crush. It would save me disappointment, worry, and overanalyzing. I think my crushes (now the actually people) think I am dumb. Well I am dumb, but I really try to come off as not dumb. :-P I fail. ::sigh::

OK. My calfs still are sore. :-P I think I will lay down and try that sleep thing.