trying to own my feelings

I'd do it if I could. I hope you know I would. I like to imagine that is what you are thinking. Sometimes, certain songs, certain lines just reverberate through your head to the point where you feel like life is really snap shots of a something else you've already seen. As if it's not even your own feelings you're feeling. Tonight's feelings are courtesy of Late at Night performed by Buffalo Tom a la My So-Called Life. Depressingly beautiful. Or maybe beautifully depressing. Or just... beautiful.

This weekend was spent on Long Island with the Herberts. Basically, William walked into my room on Friday morning and said, "Hey, do you want to go to Long Island for the weekend? Let me know!" and well... here we are. I think it was the perfect trip to take. I was starting to feel my optimism deteriorate as I scrambled to figure out what I was doing with my life, now that college was over. I'm pretty sure Long Island hasn't helped me towards the ultimate answer (which I learned tonight is 42), but it was a great distraction. It was great to see William's mom's face when she saw William. Pure joy. We've spent the weekend relaxing at the mall and seeing The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as well as Finding Nemo, and dinner with Franny and the Herberts in general. The Herberts are so funny and great. I can't wait until Worcester gets a taste of William's grandparents during graduation. :-) It's gonna be great.

Best moment at the mall: Going into Catholic Supply to buy my mom a Mother's Day gift and having three different people walk up to William (one of the hugest joos I know) and ask him if he worked there. :-) Too funny.

I admit, I am struggling just a little bit. More than I'd like to. I'm not sure what it is. I consider myself a survivor and pretty good at getting over things like this. Dangerous trend: Proximity.

I guess I should get to bed. We are having Mother's Day breakfast, a visit with the Caufields (Emily was in town this entire weekend and we didn't even know it!), and then trekking home, with a pit stop to see my favorite roommate. I will miss Laura. She is just gone a month, but I swear, she keeps our apartment functioning. :-)