life's achievement

It's amazing how 10 days just creep by. Or even more so, 23 years. The birthday is looming.

Lisa, Lee, David and I went to Foxwoods. After an unsuccessful Bingo game, we went and tried our hands at table games in the Asian room. At first we lost our $60 in Baccarat. But then we tried our hands at Pai Gow Poker and slowly made it all back and doubled it. Plus our dealer Kun, from Philly, was awesome. We trash talked most of the night and just had a damn good time. I will definitely not be a pansy and try the table games next time I come to gamble! We didn't get home until 5:30am. Yeesh! But still fun. :-)

Laura and William came in to celebrate my birthday at Brown Sugar. William got me the entire collection of Foxtrot comics. I am currently ODing on geek humor. It's great. Laura knitted me a fabulous scarf and made me earrings. Accessories are my favorite parts of an outfit! I miss seeing them on a more regular basis. I miss randomly sharing a laugh with William, doing nothing and everything with Becky, talking inanely with Patick, doing laundry with Katie, sharing secrets and judgements with Carla, having intelligent arguments with Ian, being a little kooky and neurotic with Laura, yelling at Tom for being Tom, laughing at Erie's trashiness with Hanni, being ethnic with Ben, and on and on and on. I miss the day to day small things about my friendships. I miss seeing them. Why do we all have to be so far away? I wish with every fiber of my being that I remain friends and remain close with each and every single friend of mine. It's an unrealistic wish, but they're wishes for a reason. The mere thought of losing a friendship... just hurts. I know I don't make this daily or even weekly effort to speak to with those I care for, but I like to think that they know how much I care. I like to think that they don't need us to have routine talks to show how much we care for each other. And I know that is funny to hear coming from me, considering I can't shut up sometimes. Real friendship comes from a deep understanding and a connection that goes beyond words. I love you all immensely, more than this little silly blog could ever convey.

So with my 23rd year, I hope to actually figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to meet new people. I want to maintain the amazing frienships I have. I want to find love, or at least find more than infatution. I want to find something to be passionate about. I want to find my adventurous side. I want to fully and completely love my life, every iota. I want to squash my insecurities. I want to improve my weaknesses and get rid of my less than desirable qualities. I want to be the best me that I can be. And maybe even more. Big task I got ahead of me. Hopefully, with help from destiny, fate, family, friends, and maybe a supreme being, I'll have more than enough years and all the resources I need to achieve it. But really, even if I don't achieve it, the mere fact I'm trying is achievement enough.