As Valentine's Day nears, I feel that horrible feeling of loneliness looming over my head. Usually Valentine's day in high school wasn't that bad because all my friends were single so there wasn't any expectation or feeling of loneliness because we were lonely together. Last year, I tried to remedy loneliness by going to the Vagina Monologues but then lost my ticket the nite of and well yeah... I definitely cried a lot that night. I cannot have a repeat nite. I refuse. I hate to be so vulnerable feeling and so weak. And this year, I need to figure out something fast. Everyone is going to be in Montreal and I don't know if I want to go there either. I don't know. I just know if I cry that nite, I will cry forever because the term/year/problems are just going to culminate on that nite and I will be a mess. A big fat mess.

I absolutely love my residents. I talked to Erin and Lynn for a long time today and I love talking to those two. If you were to combine Lynn and Erin, I think you would get me (well and add in some Asian too haha). Me and Lynn are very similar when it comes to values and perception of things. And Erin and I have really similar goofy taste... we are amused by silly things and we just know how to laugh. I love those two. I love all my residents though. Seriously, the floor is awesome. I could not have asked for a better floor. When I hear about other floors, I kiss my lucky stars that I got the people I got. Go D3!

So I have been uber passive in my search of the guy for me. I am just too laid back. I haven't really really really liked anyone. There are the fleeting 3 second crushes and that's it. And even then, I've only had one or two fleeting crushes (I think). I just don't feel any vibes from anyone. Maybe I'm just too picky. Or maybe it's just me and how unattractive/un-datable (someone told me that in high school... said I was the kewlest gal but completely un-datable) and the reason why I don't feel a vibe is because no one feels THAT vibe for me. Oh oh, this is definitely a let's beat up on my self-esteem blog. I better stop before I make myself feel like crap.

Nite.