Sunday, October 30, 2005

a little lost

I had a dream last night. The details are pretty fuzzy, as always. But I remember being in my bathing suit and showering at some store. And then I thought that security was going to come and kick me out but instead they were looking for someone else. And as I was hightailing it out of the store, two people are there helping me. They are essentially the same person in my life, except one represents the past and the other represents the present. And maybe my subconcious wishes that somehow they will morph into a future. But, although they are supposedly there to help grab clothes and a towel, really they are just there to be there, doing nothing. I end up lost in my dream, on the road, not knowing how to get back home. And not getting help or guidance from the two people. I think they eventually disappear and I am all alone, in the darkness, driving aimlessly. And I'm in my bathing suit. Essentially naked and without the security of clothes or the security of someone to be there for me. What am I looking for? Why can't I find my way home? What do those two people represent? Where the heck am I going? I love dissecting a vague dream. Or maybe I love dissecting my life. But each time, when I go to put it all back together, I still am not sure if I'm seeing the big picture.

And here is the result from my pumpkin carving experience...

It's very simple, and I like it. I love this season. And I cannot wait to go to Target tomorrow to rape the Halloween chocolate at half off. And to get apple cider. So yummu.

Jon Stewart was pretty awesome. He is very very funny. It was a good vibe and he talked about everything I wanted him to talk about - Scooter, Bush, Kerry, religion, dog vomit. :-P I would highly suggest you all to see him sometime.

I don't think I will ever like drinking. Or alcohol. It's tolerable at best. And I suck in a drinking party atmosphere, especially if I am not in the mood. I wish I had a better party spirit but I just always think I could be doing something better. I need some formal training on how to party. Any professors out there looking for some moonlighting and trying to help me be zen in the drunk party atmosphere?

Time for bed. The early bird gets more of her work done. So, I will end on good news: My student loan payment per month is $115. Yessssssss.


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