family

Last night, I was up wicked late due to the long nap I had in the afternoon. Anyways, my father apparently had a nightmare because he was yelling out in his sleep. It was kinda scary. He was yelling mom in Vietnamese. I thought he was yelling for my mom, but then it hit me today that he was yelling for his mom. He spent the entire day watching the tapes of my grandmother's funeral. It was kinda sad. I never like to watch the videos... they creep me out and it's very depressing. I didn't know my dad's mom. She lived in Vietnam all her life. She sounded like a good woman though. The same could not be said for my dad's dad. I guess the suckiness runs through the Y chromosome.

The other day, my uncle, Bac Dien, called from California. I was forced to talk to him for 30 minutes, and it had to be in Vietnamese. He told me my Vietnamese wasn't as bad as he had been told. Truth be told, it wasn't a half bad conversation. He told me the same stuff though, take care of your brother, stay in school, succeed, blah blah blah. I've only met him a few times, the last time being when I was maybe 12 or 13. It's kinda sad that I hardly know my father's side of the family. My dad is the second youngest of 7 (or maybe 8) - two girls and the rest boys. I only know the youngest uncle really well, Chu Bing, who is my favorite uncle. He lives in NC and I really miss him. I haven't see him in a year or so. He has a new wife and a new child. I wish they would visit. Anyways, he got promoted to favorite after my first favorite uncle, Bac Quan, died when I was 5 of colon cancer. He was awesome, always visited because he never married and was really fun - and the nicest person. Too bad he died of stubbornness. He was too stubborn to get himself checked out when everyone told him to. And by the time he did, it was too late. The other uncle, I met when I was around 5 as well, Bac Xuan, and he died a week after my horrific car accident this year of colon/rectum cancer as well. My one aunt, Bac Nghia, is a prestigious nun and she calls sometimes, but she doesn't sound nearly as cool or sincere. She's a nun - cold and righteous. :-P And the last aunt, I forget her name, but she has a lot of cool kids who are rockin' cousins. They are all older though, in their 30s or 40s. Whenever I visit Chi (I don't know how to spell her name), she always makes her kids call me Aunt Vonda or Go Vonda. It's embarassing. :-P Anyways, I regret that I never got to know my dad's side of the family as well as I know my mom's side.

The Actuarial Exam is creeping up on me and I am scared I am not prepared enough. I am decent in calc until you hit the nasty nasty integration stuff, sequences and series, and anything with tangent lines and stuff. And probability... gawd, that stuff is so shaky with me. I am going to need some intense sessions with Prof. Abraham to get that in gear. I really want to pass this time. Or else I am screwed out of job options. Maybe I should start considering grad school. :-P

I read the journal I kept my senior year of high school, as well as my freshman year of college. And jeez, I was pathetic. There's definitely this awful stretch of entries where I was so overly obsessed with this one person. I told him today about it. He laughed, and seemed so egotistical about the fact that I had that huge thing for him - the reaction I was expecting. We're still friends now, and actually we talk a little bit more often now that I'm so damn free. It's nice to remember those days, because even though it killed me for a while, it was worth the friendship.

Ok, I have PT at 8am. I need to stop having naps after PT. It's killing my days and turning me into a night owl. Hope I don't dream anything creepy.