divine

"To err is human; to forgive is divine."

It's not fair. I don't want to be divine. I want to stay angry and not forgive. But I know, tomorrow, I'll call him and let him get away with being a jerk, with being human. Because I can't bear to think that he might not speak to me anymore if I continue to wait for an apology. It's not fair. I have no idea if things will ever change. They probably won't. And yet, I will just have to forgive and take it, because I can't replace this relationship. I can't replace him. So I'll swallow my pride, let him get away with being the most irresponsible person I've ever known, and do as much damage control as I can as life moves on for all of us. It's a fine line I've walked my entire life.

On to more inane things in my life. We secured the apartment. :-) We're going to move around June 15th and I feel that life will drastically improve once we're there. I'm going to NC in less than 5 days and it's going to be great. My goals are: 1. Read Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code (I know, I am behind and a loser) 2. Not get tan/skin cancer 3. Relax 4. Think about the next step in my life as I watch the ocean pound the shore. That's about it.

I am seeing Phoenix at 9pm tonight. I am pretty damn psyched. :-)

I wish I knew what it felt like to be complete.