Tuesday, January 13, 2004

I caught the ending of Moulin Rouge today and it makes me ache just a tiny bit. I know it's weird, but I wish I knew what it was like to love someone so much, it hurt. Ewan McGregor is amazing. I have become a fan of his. I have yet to see a movie where I didn't like his acting. Kudos to him.

RA training blows. It just drags badly. All I have liked so far is the guided meditation. It was amazing because I felt like I was truly in some type of groove. I could feel myself sink further and further into this weird limbo, a comforting abyss you might say. I loved it. Otherwise... I wish I were sleeping instead of training. But it's the last training I'll ever have to do! :-) I miss William though! Training feels devoid without him. Lucky bum.

The Tatnuck Bookstore raped me and my credit card today. Darn expensive books! 253! EEK!

I don't get people's obsessions with grades. Sure, I want an A. Who doesn't? But to think that you are stupid or to obsess like your life depended on a letter than won't mean anything in a few years... it's baffling. I do remember when I used to obsess over the addiction of getting A's and the torment I would put myself through. I had never gotten a C until college. And surprisingly enough, I didn't even care that much about the C. I was like, awesome, I passed! And I worked hard to pass! I just took it and moved on. I think when I came to college, I just completely changed my outlook on grades. If I learned something, then that's all that's count. Granted I have yet to fail anything but, hey... I'll cross that hurdle when it (never, cross my fingers!) comes. :-) I just wish people would lighten up and enjoy college - worry less about the letter A and worry more about where all the F-U-N went. :-P

I am sooo excited about Denmark! I was talking to Stash and I'm hoping me and Molly can share a suite with her and Diana! That would rock my socks! And we were talking about Easter Break. Italy is my future! :-D I hope Denmark motivates Molly a little bit. I know she didn't get a stellar group, but it's going to be really good for her. I hope she just chirks up about school in general. It just seems like this year, she has lost all pep and it's not good. :-( My poor ho.

I do worry about how well certain friends of mine (hell all the females except me) will live without their significant others while in Denmark. I know I don't have that special someone and can't understand how much they love them and miss them, but I swear on my favorite polka dot skirt, if I have to deal with too much moping crap over boyfriends, I will freak out. 7 weeks in Denmark - a trip of a lifetime NOT MEANT TO BE SPENT MOPING! The occasional mope is understandable... anymore than that, and I will make it a point not to spend too much time with them until they lighten up. I will make Danish friends instead! The Danish... so hot!

The Actuarial Exam has once again won. How unfortunate but not surprising. I need to make time to study. I just don't have the discipline. Oooooh well. Maybe the spring. :-)

I miss Becky incredibly. That is one of the hard parts about leaving home. She gets me. And if there is a moment where she doesn't, she listens and tries her hardest to get me. She isn't selfish, always makes time for me, understands my humor, makes me laugh my ass off, listens great, has crazy hair, and yeah... she's Becky. :-( I wish I could put her in my suitcase and keep her here at WPI. I have great friends here at WPI, and I know that a few of them will definitely be lifetime friends without a doubt. But none of them quite compare to the BVC still. Granted, I have been best friends with her since 8th grade... so she does have quite a few years advantage. :-P I guess it's hard to deal with a lot of crap from other friends when you have a best friend like Becky and know that friendships can happen without so much crap. Patience, Vonda, patience. :-)

Say a little prayer for my girl, Ace. She needs a little help from the Big Guy and all of us. Gotta love my killer Ace. :-)

Tom Muller was awesome! It was so nice to see that punk. We did a lot of talking. We were up til 3:30 the first night, just shooting the shit. It was so great. Too bad his house is super creaky and creepy haha. He's still the same Tom. I always hope one day he gets a burst of excitement. He leads such a quiet life with a lot of ladies. I need to seriously make the effort to go to Wesleyan and check out this place. He always makes time in his schedule, I must do the same. Also, I wish more people would call him. I feel like everyone just asks me how Tom is doing instead of picking up their cell and ringing him up. Or even email for pete's sake! He would appreciate the bit of contact. Oh well. Until people do that, I will just continue to be the Tom Muller Newsletter with updates on his life. I've repeated it like 5 times over break.

Mmm Ben and I were Ok and then went rocky again. We aren't just meant to be good friends again. It's too late. He will always get mad at me in a second for any non-complimenting remark. And I'm not going to lie to his face about anything, or sugarcoat. Honesty is what he needs anyways. THe fight we had was just too big and too much. I'm not going to change my viewpoints and he isn't going to either. We are stubborn people. It sucks, but I'm accepting it. We'll always be acquaintances because of the friends we share, but not too much deeper than that. First real friendship I had in high school that has truly detoriated. Gertrude Stein doesn't count because we never shared anything deep. Me and Ben did. ::sigh:: That's life.

I miss David a bit already. WPI doesn't feel right without him here. Bah. Oh well, I hope he is having a great time in London.

I have finally gotten rid of the awful smoke smell. Yay!

I should go to bed since I have RA training at 10. 10 is such a pleasure because that is a true sleep-in when it comes to RA training. :-) My bed is laundry fresh. I LOVE it. I wish I could bottle the laundry scent up. The future hubby (cross my fingers again) would smell of it all the time. Hehe. ;p) <-- that's a Tony smile right there! Nite!

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