Monday, April 25, 2005


Trying... to... not... go... insane... from... m... q... p...


Sunday, April 24, 2005

integrate this

Tonight was the Reel Big Fish concert. It went well. I am not a crazy huge fan, but it was an upbeat time. I believe the opening act, the Pie guys, were ridiculously trashed... not very professional on their part. I enjoyed the night sitting between my two favorite joos, Adam and William. It's always fun to make snide remarks with Adam. :-)

I most likely shouldn't be up this late considering I went to bed last night pretty late. Friday was spent with some Dragon Night, Will Ferrell at Jocelyn's as well as Euchre with Alex (we kicked ass and won), and then my first time with Seinfield, which was provided by Patrick. It was in exchange for me getting him free into the concert. :-) We watched four or five episodes and then just hung out until the birds started chirping, which is roughing 4:30 in case anyone was wondering. :-P

MQP is drawing to a close and I still do not feel confident in my work. I doubt I will do much else the next few days. I still need to reread my chapters for ETR and send out my summaries to the group. I am up right now because I just finished writing my part of the paper. I always sent it out late at night, but I have never been the last to send in their part. :-)

I got to pie Prof. Heinricher on Friday. It was a ski team fundraiser and they raffled away the right to pie several professors. I had 8 tickets in Heinricher's cup, and it took four tries before they called my name (the first three names weren't present). It was pretty funny. He reminded me that he hasn't signed my CDR yet, hahaha. William got to pie Prof. Larson and ummm he did it very meanly. When he won, he did a victory lap and then took the pie, went up to Larson and said "Integrate this!" and really laid it on Larson. It was comical, but I told him he should most likely go shake Prof. Larson's hand since he wasn't super mature during the pieing. Overall it was a good time and I am glad that Prof. Heinricher and Prof. Larson are such good sports.

I can't believe that April 28th will be the last day of real undergraduate work for me. It's scary. With that I need to get to bed. Tomorrow is possible brunch at DAKA with Patrick, a little party, and most likely MiHA (Movie in Harrington Auditorium) and then a whole lotta MQP. I will most likely be doing MQP during the movie... I am a loser... I know. :-)

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

pure torture

MQP presentations are over and done with. I think I did a good job. I was calm, I felt prepared, and I feel I was clear. My partner did alright, and I kept her talking to a minimum, because I know it's not really her strong point.

My dreams have been very strange lately. I am not liking it. They are on the verge of nightmares. Nothing bad happens quite yet, but every time, it's on the verge of something bad, VERY BAD. Most of the time, possible death of some sort. But every time, I wake up or somehow... miraculously save myself. What do these dreams mean? Why am I dreaming about danger and death?

So, lately, my thoughts have been getting the best of me. And I consider it pure torture. I hate thinking about life in general sometimes. Whether it be the future, love, the present, etc. I just wish things would appear more promising or things could be different. I am 22. What have I got to say for my life?

To celebrate Project Presentation Day, Katie and I went to the B with Matty, Mumford, an Schmitty. It was a nice time and a few drinks definitely got me a little "happier" than usual. Now that we have done the presentation, everything feels very anti-climactic. But I still need to write a lot of my MQP. Well not A LOT, but there is still a lot of work to be done. And now... I am can smell graduating with high distinction. But I would be glad with distinction as well. I just want to graduate.

I have gotten the hiccups a lot lately. Not sure why. At first it was entertaining. Not so much anymore. :-P

It's almost Tom's Birthday. Must get ready to call him precisely at midnight. :-P What a fabulous friend I am.

Monday, April 18, 2005

just scream

The first step is to admit. And then over analyze. And then scream.

MQP is killing me. I can't do anymore. I just want to hand in the crap that it is, take my B or C and live with it. I will graduate with distinction and that is fine at this point. I am ready for the real world, even though the real world is without a job.

Next Thursday is salvation. I see this day as the first day of the rest of my adult life. Scared? A little. Excited? A little. Confused? A lot. Where am I going?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

April 28th

College is slowly winding down. And by slowly, I mean crazily spirally towards mental breakdown. :-P MQP is going to be over in 11 days. THANK GOD. But Project Presentation Day is Tuesday! I am so nervous.

Life is the usual. I have so little to say. NV was lovely, and William was great. Leases are signed for the next year and hopefully Fidelity will give a call back this week.

Can it be April 28th? :)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

something, someone

Sometimes, I just need to talk. And when you feel like just talking, and the person you want to talk to just says no, I'm busy... it just hurts a little. I don't even have anything important to say. Just want the company, the companionship, the moment to just share about the day, no expectations... just talk.

Life changes so much and yet, stays the same. Which is worse?

Sunday, April 03, 2005


I forgot that I am supposed to blog. And journal. I have decided I have officially become wicked boring! Why! Is this what the rest of life is like? Work, sleep, eat, clean, and leisure time? Agh! I need some excitement. :-P

So I went to see Phantom of the Opera with Katie, Bertini, and Laura. It was an ok performance, a little hard to tell what they are saying at times. But it was really nice to be in Boston. We went to dinner at Houstons and visited Hanni at Yankee Candle and then Bertini got us free ice creams at Steve's. :-) It was delish.

So MQP is really starting to scare the bejeezus out of me. Seriously... I think I am going to freak out any day now. I mean FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

::whew:: That felt nice to say that. Freak out.

Sin City was pretty friggin' cool. I can only handle stylized violence. I invited Patrick to join us SocComm kids. I forgot he doesn't like blood though, and ummm there was a lot of blood in that movie. :-P At least some of it came out white and not blood bright red. But when it did, Patrick looked away. I am glad I am semi-OK with blood, but I guess I had to be after this summer and all the blood they took out of me and put into me.

Pope John Paul II died. Although I no longer consider myself a Catholic, I do have the utmost respect for John Paul II. I might not have agreed with his Catholic views and such, but I respect him for the work he has done in this world. He was an advocate for peace and most likely the best pope the Roman Catholic church has ever had. May he rest in peace and know that he lead a good life full of good deeds. He is the only pope that many of us have ever really known or remembered. Change is in the air and I am excited to see who will be voted the next pope. Also, I am sure my mother will go to churh every single day of this month to pray for the pope. God bless her good and crazy devoted heart.

I vacuumed for the first time in forever. It feels so good and smells great. I love the clean smell and the lack of a mess in my room. I did it all tonight so that tomorrow I could spend all day doing MQP. Maybe I will also read my ETR case study. Which by the way, my group, the ETR Stars, got an A on our team analysis. Hot. :-P Wicked wicked hot.

I just finished Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix. Wow, I am wicked addicted and I cannot wait until Harry PotteR: The Half-Blood Prince comes out. I need Hanni around so we can just obsessively talk about Harry Potter so I can get it out of my system. William read them, but he is a douche and isn't very fun. :-)

Easter was spent at Crow and at first it started as a 6 or 7 person affair and turned into a 20 person affair. But it was a lot of fun and good food and I had turkey leftover to make at least 4 days of turkey sandwiches. Yessssss.

The April Fool's website had waaaaay too much drama. Friggin' retarded people. I think some people really do not understand WPI. And they need to start, or else leave. Because I do not want WPI to become everyone else. Ever heard of a thing called being unique?

Best part of this weekend: the clocks turn ahead. :-) More daylight just gets me giddy. And the weather is getting warmer and warmer, and I just asked my mom to send me all my jean skirts since I forgot to grab them last time. I look forward to wearing spring/summer clothes and enjoying the summer I missed out on this past year. Anyways, I will turn my clocks ahead this moment so I don't forget. The lack of that extra hour for sleep is worth it for that extra hour of sun. Mmm.

So... it's been almost 9 months since my accident. And my hip doesn't feel that great lately. Weather? Arthritis? I'm not sure. It's on and off pain. I need to hit up the gym and keep working up my strength. Am I ever going to be 100%? I hope so. But I am almost starting to accept that I might be stuck with this limp forever.

Again, I end with I need a job. :-P I had a great phone interview with Fidelity. I hope it goes somewhere. It sounds pretty cool. Allmerica is fine as well. Hmmm, I need to start studying for Exam P. I need to pass. I need to be on top of my game. Again... I need a job. :-)