Monday, March 31, 2003

WOOOOO! I got a 25 out of 25 on my Advanced Calc quiz! WOOOOO! Drastic improvement from the 9 out of 25 last week! WOOO! ::happy dance::

Man this is a bitch of a cough!

So anyways, I'm trying to plan out junior year and I hate how classes conflict and how I might have to take my first 8am class ever. Gross. I just want to take 4 math classes next year and not have to worry about passing anymore of them. I just need to take 18 math classes and MQP and random random electives to fill up my senior year and voila! Graduation! After this year, assuming I pass everything, I will just need to take those 4. And I have a feeling they will be hard. Math will suck the life out of me as usual. That is the life of an actuarial math major!

I can't wait until senior year when I will be taking electives like art, or Spanish, or drama! AGH! It will rock so much! Senior year, here I come! Well not really here I come... but yeah... senior year is looking good.

So yeah... I'm gonna try and be daring on Tuesday. Let's see how things go up until then. Cryptic you say? Ya damn right I am.

Sunday, March 30, 2003

So I finally got to see The Pianist. It is an amazing film. It makes your heart ache so badly. There were so many moments where I had to cover my eyes... or cover my mouth because I almost wanted to scream at the terror of the situation. A few scenes... ::shudder:: makes me wish humans weren't so inhumane. So many people killed... so many murderers... so much blind hate. It makes your heart ache in a way you never knew... it makes you cry silent tears... it makes you wonder why? And when there isn't a clear definitive answer to why, you cry some more because you're not sure what's worse... knowing or not knowing... The Pianist is a great film.

To balance out the sadness of that movie, I saw Catch Me If You Can the night before. The movie is definitely "money" as Jon Abad would say. I loved it. It was soo engaging! ""Knock knock. Who's there? Go fuck yourselves." Hahaha. I thought the music was really cute too. It was a good back up movie to see when The Pianist sold out on Saturday. It was also probably the first movie I've seen entirely by myself. And then The Pianist became the second movie I saw by myself.

This weekend has definitely been a very solitary one. No one has really been around. Molly left without a trace or a notice of any kind. I hope she is alive. I assume she is with Jared. And William was at UCONN. Friday night was the only night I really was social and even then I wasn't. I was at Sig Pi for Senior Night and people were smoking and I still had my cough and that just wasn't enjoyable. I think I just find the whole drinking thing and partying thing overrated. Saturday night, everyone heads out to LCA and I just think "Nah... I would rather be by myself and do laundry than go to some stupid party where I'll just get beer spilled on me." Wow. I'm only a sophomore and my urge to party is gone. I'm so old. But I will go to Sewer Party. I swear to that. I am so psyched for that. It will rock. This weekend had to be the most slow weekend ever but at least I feel better than I did during the week. I plan on making this coming weekend much better than all the previous.

My brother is so cute. He finally opened up a checking account. I'm so proud of him. That is the most mature thing he has ever done. Yay for Patton acting like his age!

And thinking of my brother reminds me of a line in The Pianist. Adrien Brody turns to his sister as they are being moved from the slums to the concentration camps and says "I wish I had known you better." and oh man, I just started crying. That line... it just... yeah... made me think of my brother a little bit and makes me thankful that I have him...

So on Wednesday, I will know where I will be RAing next year... exciting huh? I would love Daniels again but that is so doubtful. Hopefully Morgan. If not Morgan, than Riley. And if all goes wrong... Stoddard. I'll deal with whatever I guess. Hopefully I'll have an awesome floor like the kids I got this year.

Listening to some Tupac. Brings back the old memories of gradeschool. I hope Mr. Smith the Rapist rots in jail for a very long time. Ugh. BOOYA Sister Mary Alice! When I was in 8th grade, all the girls were talking about how he would walk in on us while we were changing and well our talking had the words "sexual harrassment" and they got back to Sister Mary Alice because I think someones parents mentioned something since we were all so grossed out by Mr. Smith's inappropriate entrances into the changing room. And she lined us up in the gym and told us that all that our accusations were "false" and that Blessed Sacrament would back him up and that they could if they wanted to, take legal action against us girls because it was slander that we were spreading about him. Right now i would like to send a nice bag of poo to Sister Mary Alice and say "Thanx for hiring a rapist and not paying attention to the signs even though 30 8th grade girls said he was a perv!" ::shudder:: What a disgusting man.

I seriously can't wait until the Crow formal. It will be so much fun on that cruise boat. I always have a good time with the brothers of Crow. They are such nice guys. I miss them. April 25, here I come!

Man I don't know what to do with myself... I don't have homework... I guess it's time to dick around as if I did have homework.

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Bridget Jones's Diary is seriously the remedy to every bad mood I ever have. At times in the movie, I feel just as hopeless and then... the moment... the turning point... "I like you just the way you are." I can't wait until somebody lays that line on me. I deserve that somebody. Just not sure when I'll get him. Anyways, taking some drugs and going to bed and getting my first full nights rest in over a week. I really want this sickness to be gone by Monday.

"I like you just the way you are." I could think of someone I wouldn't mind say that too (I think). :-) Lalalala... good night. ::cough::

"Wait a minute... Nice boys don't kiss like that."
"Oh yes they fucking do."

Friday, March 28, 2003

It's amazing how you can walk into a party room, packed full of people you know... and yet still feel completely alone. Yup that about sums it up. Alone.

This whole being sick thing has just brought down the week and I don't think I've felt really happy in a long time. It's bad enough where I can't remember off the top of my head the last day where I didn't feel like getting into bed and throwing the covers over my head and wishing the earth would eat me whole. This is NOT good. Repeat not good. I'm thinking the sickness is the main cause of this feeling but at the same time, D term just hasn't been that good. I've done so much and nothing has really felt satisfying. I'm not sure where I am going with this blog except I guess I'm just generally not happy. And I'm not happy alone... the worst type of not being happy.

sdfjljiknjhrgljikrjigtfjikgjig <--- fit of random rage at this feeling. I HATE THIS!

I don't feel like typing anymore.

Too tired to post much. Health services sucks. Did nothing really. Told me what I kinda knew. Old gym teacher accused of rape. HA Sister Mary Alice. You can kiss mine. Played tennis when I shouldn't have but man it felt good to play. I love tennis. And coach galasso said I was pretty good. yay! OK. No more. Must sleep. Too much to do tomorrow still.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Another thing I hate about being sick... my voice. I hate when I don't have the full boom of my voice. I hate whispering. I hate the raspiness. I hate the weakness. I can't wait until I can sing (offkey) again and yell "She's a ho!" and just be me. Die sickness die.

Yet again another bad sick day. Molly's mom thinks I have the flu. I wouldn't doubt it. I plan on going to Health Services tomorrow. Must get this taken care of. It's killing me otherwise!

SNAP was bad. I felt sick. And I was supposed to be on until 2. But I couldn't make it. Plus the van was making me nauseous (thanx to Patrick for spelling that word... man sometimes words just look so wrong to me). Sometimes I get car sick a bit. Anyways... Anissa was driving like a mad woman and it was just not helping. And we hung out at her place and uhhh yeah. Not my number choice to hang out. I was hacking away and her roommate is just complaining about some boy and then talking about "smoking up in an hour" and blah blah. And there was a bong directly to my left and yeah the place didn't smell so innocent. And I had on a letter shirt under my sweater and didn't dare take it off. I didn't want to make them think of me different because I was in AGD (I hear Anissa and her roommates, who are mainly Phi Sig, bash on AGDs while other SNAP drivers have been there). So yeah, on top of being sick, I was just plain uncomfortable there. I hate that. Luckily I have a lot of RA stuff coming up and can't work the early with her.

But I did get to work with AJ for the first hour and that's always nice because AJ is really great. We didn't have a single call and we just talked it up and such. She is just a great girl. Plus I got to talk to Math Kid for a second but once again I think I made him feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure he even uttered more than a few words. But Adam was there and he is a nice guy. And he finally has my name down so it's all good. Another victory in the name game for Vonda.

So I called all the SNAP drivers. Man oh man. No one would take it. Some had legitimate excuses and some just sounded like they just didn't want to do it. It made me laugh and and yet feel very frustrated. Well thankfully Sonja did it (then again it is her job to fill in) but still... she is great.

OK. I need to get to bed. Rest rest rest. Must break this sickness before it breaks me.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Whoa. Talk about bad sick day. The Personal Finance test went OK. It was especially good when there was a question about the present value of an annuity and I was able to pull from theory of interest and nailed that question. But then came Advanced Calc and I thought I was going to die. I'm surprised I made it all the way through that class. I was hot on moment and then the next cold. And well by the time Advanced Calc ended, I knew there was no way in hell I could make it through Survival Models. So I went to the class, saw Prof Wiedie and told her I wasn't feeling very well and picked up my homework (which I got a 58% on because I suck at life). I really do need to see her so I can get this stuff down. Anyways she wasn't "amused" by everyone's homework grades. I guess everyone did pretty bad. At least I heard we got an extension until Friday. Thank gawd.

I pretty much laid in bed all day. From 11am until 7pm. How sad is that. It was pretty awful though. I didn't feel good at all. I kept trying to go to sleep but my mind was a pisocrap. I would close my eyes and usually I just pass into sleep. But today, I kept visualizing this tangled mass of something and it kept blocking me from going to sleep. It felt like this weird form of insomnia. So I would doze in and out of sleep. Each time I "fell asleep" I would make a noise with my raspy voice and would literally wake myself up. It was so awful. I laid in bed for so long because I was so dizzy when I would get up. This morning when I showered, I practically fell over in the shower because my center of balance was way off. Gawd I haven't been this sick in so long. And I have so much to do this week. And I had to skip tennis too. It sucked so bad. I hope I feel good enough on Thursday to go to all my classes. I should. I feel it wearing off a bit. Or it could all be the Sudafed (or is it Aleve? Well whichever it's doing wonders). Who knows.

Ok I guess it's time for me to work on the Advanced Calc and watch more of Celine Dion. Thanks to everyone who asked how I was doing. Glad to know you all care. :-)

Monday, March 24, 2003

::cough:: ::gasping for breath:: Bleh. Being sick sucks ass. And having a class on the third floor of Stratton sucks ass even more. ::cough::

So... I really think I won't be able to see the Pianist unless I see it Thursday and man that is definitely crunch time. I really want to see it though. Well if I want to see it badly enough I'll make time for it right? Yeah ok.

AGD risk management is like pulling teeth. Blah! I hate when we have those workshops. Very tedious.

Whoa. Advanced Calc is not looking good. I got my first quiz back. So yeah. A big fat 9 out of 25. Kill me now and get it over with. That better be the quiz I drop. And if it's not, then christ almightly I've got a bad term ahead of me.

Teeter Totter is coming up and I am looking forward to it except it's hard to find the time to fit that in. Plus I hate teetering with guys lighter than me because I feel fat when they have weights on THEIR side. Eh I deal... typical insecurities and all that jazz. Otherwise it's a blast. I'll never forget making Dave Gordon's life hell that night. And neither will he. I don't think I have even been to LCA without him coming to hug me and then proceding to tell the story about how I was mean to him. He came to TTAT drunk and really had to pee and he was paired with me and well... I said that was really lame that he came drunk. So I made specific efforts to bang the teeter totter REALLY hard and make it sucky for the bladder. And he refused to get off because he wanted to be a man and hold it and wait til his shift was over. Boy was I mean. :-) Nonetheless a moment shared between me and Dave. I was so hardcore last year... Did five straight hours of teeter totter with Stepha. Loved it.

And with Stepha, yeah... I totally think what happened to her is complete and utter bullshit. It makes me want to scream at certain people. ::silent scream::

So today was the first RA training session. They say we will know where we will be placed by April 2. That is exciting. I have no idea who I will be placed with. I would like either Daniels, Morgan, or Riley. In that order. But hey whatever happens happens. I just hope I have a great staff. The newbies look kewl too. So it's all good.

And latest family news is that my dad is gonna pay for me, my mom, and Patton to fly down to New Orleans to visit the fam. My grandparents are really sick and it's not looking good. And we haven't visited in years. I can't wait. It will be a bit sad to go back and not have my aunt/godmother there. ::tear:: It's been a year and a half since she died and I still don't think I really let it sink in. I guess when I get to New Orleans and realize she isn't there to give me a hug and spoil me and tease me, I'll realize. ::sigh:: I miss her. I miss everyone. My family is the biggest and craziest and I just feel like it's been too long since I've seen them last. Gawd we have all changed so much. I cannot wait to return to my city of birth.

Although the actuarial exams are in May too. Christ I know I am not going to study at all if I go to New Orleans for a few weeks. Oh well. That is life.

OK it's time to study for that Personal Finace test. I buckled and bought the book. Bleh. $110 down the drain. Oh well. As long as I get an A in this blasted class! :-P

Let's recap the Oscars in one word: Eminem! HOLY CRAP! Who would have seen him winning an oscar for best song? That's CRAZY! I couldn't stop screaming "I can't believe it" when they announced his name. Just crazy. Anyways, Chicago kicked ass and so did the Pianist. Now I really want to see the Pianist oh so bad. I will do it Tuesday if I can. Let's hope.

I feel very sick. I can't overexert myself or I can't breathe. If I just sit there, I am fine except I cough a lot. But man, if I try to do stairs, it hurts. And what's worse is that I lent my elevator key to people moving out and I would really like it back because yeah it's my key and the stairs are killing me. I get up here and I can't breathe and I have to lay down to try to catch my breath and not cough up a lung. How do illnesses move so fast? It's mind boggling.

I had a bad dream last night. People trying to stab me with dinner forks. Not fun. I hate being chased in dreams. Literally in my dream, I started to try to poke my eyes so that I would wake up because in my dream I knew I was dreaming and that if I could just wake myself up, I could be saved from these people trying to hurt me. It was creepy. I wonder if I physically trying to open my eyes or poke them while I was dreaming that I was. I didn't wake up when I wanted to but at least I woke up. Weird weekend of dreams.

And now I get myself in to bed before I collapse. Just breathe Vonda. Just breathe.

Sunday, March 23, 2003

Mmm... feel oodles better... Becky called and ho hum we just talked about life and well yeah I just feel ten times better. No more disliking life. Just little spats. Anyways... William was funny and yeah... we just bitched about stuff and then laughed about stuff and then he ironed his clothes and got off while doing that... don't ask people... and yeah. The SNL tonight was really funny... I had a good end to the night... so yeah. I am better. I can deal. Life goes on. Think Tupac. Mmm I could listen to that song right now. I will. And sleep. Good night.

Saturday, March 22, 2003

1. I really hate being here at times.
2. It's always my fault when friendships go bad. Or that's the impression I get.
3. I really wish Gonzaga had won. They were so close (double overtime!). Damn you Arizona.
4. I hate feeling this way.
5. I hate feeling alone. I can handle being alone but when I really feel like I'me truly alone, well I can't handle it.
6. I hate crying.
7. I hate having to blog about this because I feel like I can't talk to anyone right now.
8. Right about now, I semi-hate my life. And it takes a lot for me to feel this way.

::sigh:: Yeah what an up and down day it has been. Bad. Good. Bad. I can't deal with this too much longer. I feel like it's A term again and I want to shut my door and just never talk to people due to fear that I'm not good enough or that I'm not there enough or I'm not worthy of people's friendships. Since I've been back from Spring Break, I've cried 3 times and ya know what, I don't like to cry. And when I start crying I can't stop. And then my little Asian eyes get all poofy and then I just get tired and seclude myself and go to bed with bad vibes.

So this a lot of the bad vibes stems from the fact that I wasn't invited to a cook out. And whatever I can deal. But I guess it's when Molly said "Well you aren't around a lot so I don't know whether everyone is OK with that" and well that just kind of hurt. And I guess I hate feeling like it's all my fault because it's not like anyone ever makes the time to see me either. I don't live in the same building anymore, we don't take any classes together, I do more stuff than they do, and well yeah... it's not like they come here ever or come out to lunch or dinner and there isn't exactly a lot of effort coming my way. Whatever. I'm just tired of feeling like it's my fault and I'm tired of what it makes me feel like. I don't need to cry over things like this and whatever. Subject matter closed. I guess I was also hurt when Molly bailed and stayed there. I know it's her boyfriend and all but I guess it stung just a bit. It reminded me of all the other times in life where I was left behind for the significant others (it's happened so much). I dunno. I understood she wanted to stay there and everything even though she said she would do dinner with me but still it hurt a little to go to dinner by myself and feel like I had no one. This weekend has just turned into the most lonely one ever. I just feel like I have to struggle to find friends over the weekend. Whatever. This wallowing needs to stop. I just wish I was home where I don't feel like everything is my fault... where I've got my brother, my mom, and Becky to always be there even when they aren't technically there. I just wish people understood me better. ::sigh::

Thankfully Matt Hazel saved the day and was in the CC and we ate and played pool and he beat me bad every time but it made me smile a little. Thank goodness for the small things like that that make your day.

I take back hating my life. I am just momentarily highly unhappy.

So... to end on a good note, I remembered one more thing about my dream that made me feel good. He said my name. And it just sounded great. I don't think I have ever heard him say my name before and well in the dream he did... and it gave the warm and fuzzies... mmm... I love hearing my name. OK. I am going to call William and laugh and try to feel better.

I just woke up from the best dream ever. Dude. It was so confusing but all I remember is going on a date with "so and so" and then going to the movies with "so and so" and massively cuddling with "so and so". Wow talk about the warm and fuzzies attack. But then someone made "so and so" get popcorn and all these snacks and while he was getting stuff my dream got all funky and i had to leave because of the war and yeah that's where things start to suck because then we split up. But I got an email from "so and so" saying he had a great time and was sorry he missed saying goodbye. ::sigh:: I love good dreams. And man "so an so" was looking awesomely cute in my dreams. Not that he doesn't look that cute in real life. But damn... I rarely ever dream dreams like that. I'm always wacked out and dreaming weird stuff. That was one of the most normal dreams I've had in a while and it's really lingering right now. Mmm... I won't be seeing "so and so" until Monday. Damn. That dream is really going to linger. If I dream about him again tonight I am going to go nutso. Do I even really like this kid? I don't know! I don't think I even know him well enough to like him. Two less than 5 minutes conversations a week isn't exactly information filled and a hi in the passing isn't either. :-P Anyways, he's cute and I'm glad he gave me the warm and fuzzies after a semi-boring ending to a Friday night. Thanks "so and so." And if you really want to know who "so and so" is... just ask I guess... I might tell depending on my mood. :-)

So... dilemma. There is a job at WPI during the summer in the ODAWP office and it looks like a sweet job. Except that I planned on going home and I already planned on taking the actuarial exam in May in Erie. I don't know. I really planned to be home this summer. My mom expected it and so did my brother and I think I would get homesick if I had to stay up here all summer. I don't know. But it's an awesome job. Something I would love to do! What do I do? ::sigh::

Dream is still lingering... still getting warm and fuzzies... ::grin::

Oh my gawd, I hate assholes. I went to my first pub show and caught the last few seconds of it. And then thats when things go all wrong. They didn't have the cash to pay the band and their manager was the biggest dick ever. I am talking HUGE DICK. And so he is totally bitching this kid out (the promoter) and just saying the same damn things over again. He said he didn't have enough money to get back to NYC and that this was a contract and that we weren't fulfilling our end of the bargain and how un-adult it was. I just wanted to scream at him "FUCK YOU! If you were so gawd damn "adult" then you should have been prepared and made sure you had the money to get back to NYC!" What a dick! And it was just getting ugly and Puma said to call in the campus popo to stand by in case anyone decided to be dumb. And well yeah. Christ. I hate people like that. And in the end this kid gave the fucking band $40 he is never going to get back because the check to pay the band was already in the mail and SocComm can't reimburse because that is definitely against the rules. Fucking assholes. I can't stand people like that. People who start yelling and saying "I understand but I'm letting you know..." blah blah... they just repeat the same things and state the friggin obvious. What dicks. So glad they are gone. What a great first time at a pub show. I also stuck out like crazy. Everyone was wearing black and I come in with a blue jean skirt and a bright yellow letter shirt with my sorority letters on it and damn do I just look like a target. :-P

Club Founders was also a bust. No one came. I got there just as Phi Sigs invaded. Whoopeedeedoo. It's hard at this point to really get this thing rolling because everyone has better things to do because they know what is out there. Plus it just isn't that great. I don't know. It needs to be revamped. I got to chill with Boats and Sonja for a bit and then Joey and AJ showed up. It was OK. Highlight of the night was seeing Mike Schwartz dance to an NSYNC song and knowing ALL THE MOVES! It was so hot. Haha.

And I finally got to see a movie with Patrick! Woo hoo! About Schmidt was alright. It was a bit boring here and there but had it's humor and well... it just kinda made you realize how you're put on this earth for a reason and although you may not realize it, you're helping someone out there. Anyways, I just wish the nudity scene with Kathy Bates was not in there... nor the butt shot of Jack Nicholson. But hey you can't win em all! :-P Next goal: The Pianist (NOT THE PENIS YOU PERVERTS!)

Formal time is near. Do I want to just take the default date of William because I know it will be a good time? Or do I want to be daring and work on getting a REAL date? Or not go at all because right now, you're really not in the mood and there is no dress. Who knows. I need to work up some nerves and get some balls and just go for it. Go for who? Yeah not sure still. I'm crazy. I'm all over the place. I wish someone would just go for me and save me the nerves. :-P Anyways, I do have a goal and we will see whether I can attain this goal. I doubt I will but damn this cute kid is so worth the try. :-) Wooo yay for math! ;-)

OK I am tired and I've decided to just give up for the night. There goes my fun Friday. Oh well! The next one will be better.

Friday, March 21, 2003

Mmm... you would have thought I would have blogger about war by now. :-/ Well it's here and it doesn't matter what I think really in the end. I just pray for the lives of everyone who is at risk. ::sigh:: I hate war. When I was little, the Gulf War wasn't a big deal because I didn't really understand it so it didn't bother me or concern me in a sense. But now... you can't avoid it. And sometimes I think I back the war and sometimes I think I don't. So much gray matter. All I know is that in the end, we will still lose... because people had to die over this and it's just not fair and I don't see how we "win" when people die. Whatever. It's here. Just have to watch it as the days progess on.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous and I love it. I turn to the sky and smile. :-)

It's D-term and I am still without a boyfriend, or a date, or anything. :-P I was discussing this with Sonja at Crow the other night and our theory is that we are such independent chickabees and that guys are intimidated by that. Or at least like us but don't want us in "that way". I think guys need to be with a girl who "needs them" and well ya know what, I like to think that I don't "need" anyone. Me and Sonja are confident, fine with being single (not that we wouldn't mind boyfriends), and guys like us for our spunk but don't wanna be with us. And that sucks but dammit I am fun, and cute, and yeah, I'm kewl. :-P Then again, it wouldn't matter because even if a guy liked me, ten bucks I would be a picky mean bitch and not like them back like that. The endless cycle. :-) I can't help who I like and I guess the same can be said for the countless boys who don't like me. Anywaya I am just rambling now. I just would like a cute boy.

I have decided that dude, it would be really funny if I married another mathematician guy. Hahahaha. We could argue over stuff. Exciting huh? We could write loveletters with math themes... hahahaha. I wrote a rosenote to Kimmy that said "the limit of my love for kimmy = undefined... my love knows no bounds" hahahaha. Wouldn't that be so cheesily cute if some math kid (hahaha a specific "Math Kid" ;-) woooo!) wrote that? I would die and then instantly marry him! HAHA. Ok not really but I would be enormously flattered and what can I say, I'm a sucker for smart guys.

I think Spring has instilled in me crazy love fever. Well more like crazy "I like him" fever. I'm not nutso over anyone. Just getting *glitter* as Becky and I coined it. :-)

I think I am bit too cheery right now. I am going to see a movie with Jared and Molly and maybe a few other friends later on. Yay! This weekend has oodles of potential. :-) Yay for Spring.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Let's see. My birthday. It started out nicely. Tom and Hanni came in. Yay. And we went out to dinner with Molly and William. More yay. Dinner was funny and great. Peppercorns serves good food. And the waitress even brought out my dessert with a tiny candle. :-)

But after that it just got yucky. The game night didn't go as well. And yeah I have to say I ended the birthday festivities on a bad note. It just felt wrong and off. But I called Becky and I felt a little better. I dunno. I was still in the funk. Not happy.

And on that note, I'm better. In a good swing (altho the homeworks I handed in this week for math sucked ass).

Tom is the kewlest and I am always so glad to see him. He was a definitrely highlight. I wish I saw him more, but I promised to try and visit over D term. Maybe Easter so I can celebrate his birthday! 4-20. How odd that it's Tom's b-day. I love that kid so much.

Anyways, back to more current stuff... I tried to go out and have fun at the fraternities but that just didn't work out well. And that's why I never go out. It's semi-disappointing. Crow was nice though. I always love the brothers there and they make me laugh. Things really died down though so I went with Rachel to TKE. But as we were getting there a stream of pledges were running at full sprint and I heard horns and I realized it's "I Heart TKE week" AKA Pride Week. Good times. I will miss my boys for the week. And then we went to LCA. :-/ Some jerky guy answers the door and then I walk in and one of the brothers I despise looked at me and gave me this dirty look like "You don't belong here". Ugh me and Rachel felt so out of place! Grr. But then I saw a few friendly faces but still, too many Phi Sigs made it feel like I shouldn't have been there. LCA is definitely turning into a Phi Sig house. Eh whatever. Phi Sig can have the "club for men". Granted there are some LCAs that are the kewlest guys I know... I mean seriously some are too great for words... but then there are the others and they make me very not happy. Anyways, I left and well whatever. This night was a bust and then some. At least I saw the crow boys and Discount. Yay.

Dammit while I was at LCA, I lost in the name game with Jeff. Christ, he knew my name and he asked me if I knew his and gawd dammit my mind completely blanked. He was one of Jon Abad's OL kids and I so have met him THREE times but the name slipped. I swear I will never forget. He is a very nice guy. :-) Another LCA I think is kewl.

I got to play some tennis today. Sucked ass because I haven't hit in a while and damn you Tyler for dropping that beer can on my pinky and injuring it! Oh yeah. Friday night, celebrated Trina's b-day and drank a little. More than usual because I was definitely not as alert as usual. Good time though. Except for the swollen pinky. But they all drank to my birthday at the stroke of midnight and overall it was an awesome night. I love the SocCommers. :-)

I saw Adaptation today. Very good. Super enjoyable. Almost too smart. :-) I loved the voice overs and just the quirky feel to it.

Hmmm I know there was more that I wanted to say but as usual the words have escaped. I am just going to call it a night since everything sucked out. How lame of me. Tuesday and I am going to sleep. :-P

Monday, March 17, 2003

Mmm. I find myself with little time to blog. I used to be all about the blog once a day thing. But it's hard to find that time. Like right now, I should seriously be working on some Survival Models homework because I won't be able to look at it til about 10pm and I know it will take me at least 4 and some odd hours to finish it. I think I should go do it.

Long blog to come. If I remember. I try to remind myself but I always forget.

Friday, March 14, 2003

How do you say... in the funk? Not a good funk either. But it's passing. Always a hurdle I have to jump at the beginning of the term. Bertini even said "Hey Vonda is everything OK? You look kinda down!" And well yeah, Molly said I have the "My dog died today" look on my face. I learned from the master haha. Anyways, tomorrow is the good ol' birthday and I swear I am going to cheer up. I do feel a bit better. I dunno. I just get into these funky moods at times.

I just made 3 letter shirts with Amanda Gray! She's the best.

And yeah.

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Finally. A moments rest.

Let's see. I'm super glad I got to spend all that time in Vermont with the ho. The sleep and rest really helped me out the rest of break.

Going home was good as usual. My brother is still an ass but I love him. I got to have pho, go to Chuck E CHeese, play lazer tag, watch my old high school win states (yay) and just got to feel the Erie vibe and cure any homesick feelings. As always there is some sort of family problem, but it's out of my hands. Just gotta let things play themselves out.

Then Beck and Amanda headed back to Worcester with me and Hanni. We were SUPPOSED to leave Sunday morning but instead left Sunday nite at 10pm bc Becky had to work. We drove all night and got into Worcester at 6am (all nighter right there) and then went at 9am to NYC to the taping of the Daily show and got to see Ben for the day. Then the next day, I had class and then went into Boston and such and saw the MFA and went to cheers, etc. So here I am, days later... total travel time = 30-some hours, many blocks walked and completely exhausted. It was fun until yesterday where I was so tired and emotional exhausted and I almost burst into tears over something silly.

Only disappointing part about all this besides the lack of energy was the lack of alone time spent with Becky. :-( Amanda was there and I like her and all but she is too much for 5 days. Plus I think she wants to make Becky her one and only best friend and well sorry dear, she is my best friend. It was very frustrating when I would try and talk to Becky one on one and Amanda would butt her head in bc she was tired of being Hanni's best friend. What can I say, I have the best best friend in the whole wide world. Everyone wants her. I'm not being weird jealous (maybe a little... I mean Amanda did get to live with Becky last year and they go to school together and they work at the same place) but I know deep down me and Beck are way closer than Amanda and her will ever be. Plus Amanda gets on Becky's nerves a lot because Amanda just has to do 99% of everything with becky and sometimes she just wants to NOT be with Amanda. Anyways, I just wish I had more time with Beck. We slept in the same room in Boston so we got to talk about a lot of things on each others mind. Got things off my chest that I haven't told anyone else. I'm the most truthful with her. I love Becky. :-)

It's a few days in and I already feel like there is too much work to be done and not enough time to do it. And man oh man is my stack of dirty laundry high. So much to do.

And it's snowing. PLease stop it God... I really want to play tennis!

And my birthday is almost here. Creepy. Tom Muller is coming in though and that makes me happy. Yay!

That is all. The shower is screaming my name.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

OK wow. So busy that there is zero time to blog. But I swear I will.

Damn schedules. I am so tired of being asked when I'm "free" so that they can schedule me for crap and a half. Bleh.

OK must go. As usual.

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

::crapping pants in excitement:: My best friend Becky is coming to visit Worcester for sure! WOO! She is coming back on the car ride with me! AGH! I am sooo pumped! AGH! ::crapping pants in excitement again::

And I got my nails done in "red, red rhine" and oh yeah it's red. AND I got a new purse for spring and summer wear and a new red wallet to match it and oh gawd it makes me happy. Too happy. Oh so giddy.

Life is good. As long as my car makes it home and back, my life will be grande! Woo! :-)

Monday, March 03, 2003

Whew. No more tips for masturbation.

The ho still has her headache and I watched her chiropractor crack her neck. Eww. It made me wince. Ok more like FLINCH.

I will be back in Worcester sometime on Wednesday so I can get my car checked out and oil changed and all that hoopla. Gotta make sure the car is in condition to drive home.

OK. Otherwise life is filled with beating Mario Brothers and countless hours of quality ho time.


Sunday, March 02, 2003

OMG. Jon Abad says that the ads in my blogs are advertising masturbation tips! AGH! Virginal Vonda is big time appalled! ::shakes fist:: Damn you ads!

So I'm in Vermont and the ho just celebrated her 19: the continuation birthday. It was quite nice. We woke up ridiculously late (around 1ish) and watched The Mighty Ducks 2. And then I finally got around to showering and getting on real clothes and her mom ran around trying to clean in preparation for the dinner shindig we were having. Then the ho's best friends Audrey and Lisa came over with Audrey's boyfriend, Ben in tow. Also were Tom and Sharon... Sharon is the kewlest. She is me but the older even crazier version of me! I love her! She did our nails and such last time we were here and she makes me laugh. I am sure me and the ho will visit her and get all girlied up at some point. We have another 5 days to kill and I have no idea what we are going to do! :-) But it's been nice and soothing so far. I heart ho.

The ho is sleeping already because her head hurts so I decided to get online and blog a little about life and such.

The ho and I have been playing lots of Nintendo. Super Mario Brothers 3 to be exact. I seriously love that game. And Molly is quite GOOD! But she isn't playing her full potential (because of the headaches). We have been dying to play Mario together because we both heard how good each other were. We are a pretty good team. Me and the ho.

I am sure I will blog a lot about the ho because we are together 24/7 pretty much. It's good bonding time.

William is in Florida and not out in the sun. What a loser! He stays in the shade. Thank gawd I tan like a piece of toast because I would hate to have to wear Sunblock each time I went outside. Yay for good melanin. I usually have to call him once a day to get my bicker and random talk in for the day. Getting in a little bit of both of my best buddies.

I can't wait to go home to Erie. I really hope Tom comes with me and Hanni to Erie. Tom is one of my favorite people and Hanni is my bee-otch. We would have such a fun road trip! And plus we would get to see if our lovely team would make it to Nationals or not. We need to three-peat. Go Academy!

We went hot-tubbing today after dinner. It was so hot but felt really good. And it was snowing while we were in there. It was the oddest sensation to have little bursts of cold fall on your shoulders and yet have the rest of your body be so warm. Audrey said that if the water were really warm (like REALLY warm) and we staying in too long, the water would start to cook our internal organs. Gross. And the hot-tub was at Lisa's place. Holy cow her house was a mess. Imagine my mess and turn it into a house. Yeah that's how messy it was. Add three cats and a dog to that too. Hair everywhere. But it was "well lived in" is what I like to think. It had character.

Mmm I miss Becky and Patton. Whenever Molly tells a story about her older brother Ben, I think of Patton and how retardedly alike we are. I miss him. And I miss Becky and our talks and just hanging out. Hanging out with the ho and her best friends and hearing their chitter chatter made me miss my two fave people a lot. I could talk to those two forever. ::sigh:: I will be in Erie, PA soon enough. Must enjoy Vermont. :-)

Vermont has this creepy edge to it. There aren't a lot of street lights and when it is dark, all you see is trees and mountains and yeah well it's creepy and silent. Almost like "I know what you did last summer" creepy vibe. Or "scream" I am going to come in and murder you in this house in the woods kind of deal. I probably shouldn't blog like this since I am creeping myself out since I am in the computer room downstairs by myself and everyone is asleep in their rooms upstairs. Oh well. I like to be retarded.

Ok I think I am done rambling about nothing and everything. Oh yeah. I am taking a daring step (math kid). Details to come.