soulmates

Hanni and I talked about soulmates, or at least the idea of it. I think there is THE soulmate out there for you, but also many almost soulmates as well. And it's just a matter of fate, which person you meet first, the or the almost. And then it led me to worry. Who is my soulmate or almost soulmate? I can honestly say there is only one person I've ever liked that I could even utter soulmate about. But it's so far-fetched. But at the same time, fate had something to do with the beginnings of that relationship in the first place. And fate will do something about it later if it wants to. Who knows. All I know is that I wonder about it occasionally, but shouldn't and definitely don't hold out for it. Right? Yes, right. If it's one thing I've learned from the past few months is fate will have its way with you whether you agree with it or not.

I also believe in the non-life partner soulmates, the platonic soulmates - the people who get it, get you. I think Becky is my soulmate, as is William, and my brother. And I have a few almost soulmates as well, not many more than what I just named, maybe Tom and Molly and Hanni. People who get me or at least accept me and realize the value of our relationship. Without these soulmates, my life would be soul-less. For these people, I am forever in-debted to fate. Too bad there isn't some way to send fate a thank you and I hate you card all at once for my life. :-P

Yes people, my life is a little slow and that is why I did the following quiz - ENJOY. But I did do a lot of studying today, got out the pad and pen and really worked away at some of the problems. Mainly calculus still though, too scared to push hard with probability. But I will, don't worry. I really want to pass this crap this time. Show companies I'm worth it. Anyways, it's time for some Sex and the City. I just found seasons 2 and 3 in my messy room and it feels like the first time all over again. :-)

FIRST
First best friend: My brother, Patton... I gave him a big kiss when he was brought home from the hospital, there are photos. He hates them.
First car: Neon Sentra
First date: I'm a loser, haven't ever had one... yet!
First real kiss: Oh boy Duc Tran? We were young and curious. Meant nothing. :-P So I guess that isn't real real... I'd say never if going by emotions behind the kiss.
First break-up: Some kid named JR... stood for Junior, do you see why I dumped him? j/k
First screen name: VonDuh315 (I hate numbers now... it's funny because I am a math major)
First self purchased album: Boy II Men's II!! Best ever.
First funeral: My favorite uncle's funeral when I was 5. It was scary because they had these ladies who were basically hired to moan and cry in white clothes.
First pets: Goldfish... they were the only things that my parents didn't kill and eat. :-) Seriously.
First piercing/tattoo: Ears at the age of 1 or 2. My mom was a masochist.
First credit card: Capital One right before college with a crazy limit of $300.
First true love: You mean they had to reciprocate right? Then none... 21 and never been hit by the train called love.
First enemy: My brother, Patton... he punched me in the stomach when we were 6 and 7 and we've been fighting since then.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Oh jeez... it was bad Vietnamese music with keyboard and lamenting... it's like country with a synthesizer.

LAST
Last cigarette: It was some Thursday in my 8th grade year. Yes, people, I was a badass when I was entering my teen years.
Last car ride: Yesterday, to get my blood taken.
Last kiss: Well this didn't say kiss kiss, so a kiss on the cheek counts... Becky, my best friend gave me my last smooch
Last good cry: Ooooh, probably a week ago, maybe two. I've had a lot in the past few months!
Last library book checked out: There's this thing called IQP, and yeah it was some books on how laws and standards are created when it comes to safety and consumer products
Last movie seen: Zoolander, friggin' great!
Last beverage drank: Water, only water.
Last food consumed: Rice with some fried meat contraption that I like.
Last crush: Mmm... Patrick? After consulting with William over this, it was definitely Patrick.
Last phone call: William, he is my gab pal as well as my joo.
Last time showered: 5 hour ago
Last shoes worn: My trusty blue and white Sketchers
Last cd played: Scissor Sisters - they are fabulous.
Last item bought: It's funny, I have the receipt in my pocket - the last item was Clean and Clear Face Wash
Last annoyance: My wheelchair/my busted hip/my inability to walk/not being at WPI
Last disappointment: My doctor's appointment where I found out I have a freaky bone growth
Last time wanting to die: Never... even when shit hits the fan as it has in my life.
Last time scolded: My mom was mad that I wanted to shower so late :-)
Last shirt worn: Olive green Old Navy graphic tee
Last website visited: Ian's blog, where I got this silly quiz
Last word you said: Ha
Last song you sang: Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
What color socks are you wearing?: None, barefoot is the way to go
What Color of underwear are you wearing?: Let me check... pink, I'm a girl!
What's under your bed?: The ground
What time did you wake up today?: 12pm... I got nothing else to do!

FUTURE
Where do you want to go?: WPI immediately, and Japan, London, and Copenhagen again in the far future.
What is your career going to be?: As of right now, an actuary.
Where are you going to live?: New England big cities: Boston or Providence OR Manhattan or somewhere close to it!
How many kids do you want?: 2-3 if my hips allow :-)
What kind of car(s): Who cares, as long as it's cute and it runs.

CURRENT
Current mood: Serene
Current music: Sondre Lerche - It's Over
Current taste: Saliva... yum.
Current hair: Wet and up
Current clothes: PJ light blue pants, blue tank, pink underwear, and my favorite black sweater
Current annoyance(s): None. That's good.
Current longing: To be walking and back to normal
Current desktop picture: Becky, Martin Luther King, Jr., and me... Dreamers :-)
Current favorite artist: Mmm, that's tough... Becky!
Current book(s): Study Manual for the Actuarial Exam
Current color of toenails: A fading dark pink that is growing out.
Current hate: The Actuarial Exam

ow

I think I just did something to the hip region/thigh muscle. It aches, especially when I lay flat on my back in bed. I have to sleep on my side to make the ache go away. I think I did something when I overdid myself when I tried to reach for the string thing to bring down the blinds and I was lying in bed and did it awkwardly. Fuck. I hope it's just a muscle thing and not a bone thing. Or this ache could be because I'm not taking the medicine that is supposed to stop the freaky bone growth because it's a blood thinner and I am already on coumadin and yeah... I see my physician on Thursday at 2pm and am glad. His office called back to say they would accept me and I almost cried in happiness. That is my life.

It's amazing that I am away from WPI and yet feel like I am still in the thick of things. It's nice and sucks because I'd rather be there and clueless than in the know and at home in Erie. But whatever, it's nice to be kept up to date so when I do get back, I won't be always be asking "Huh? What happened?!" or "Damn, I missed so much!"

So John John tried out for the Real World and called me to let me know. We had a good laugh over it. He'd have a good shot, he's black and he's gay... but not your typical attractive and he is a major drama queen drunk. Once again, he's got a shot. Plus his damn life story got him on the Rosie O'Donnell show... I should not underestimate him. Anyways, I watched an episode of it tonight an it was an OK episode for once. It had to deal with race. The black gay guy, Karamo, was surrounded by police inside some hip club because someone anonymously called in to say that they thought he had a gun. And of course Karamo freaks out and raises his voice because obviously, he doesn't. And his two white male roommates, who haven't really been exposed to black people or people in general who weren't white, don't understand why he is so upset and feels the need to yell. They get into a fight about it, blah blah. And to be honest, I have to side with Karamo. When something bad happens to me, I need support and someone to be on my side, not tell me to calm down or ask my why I'm so upset. Plus, I really don't think they understand the racism thing. Karamo was raised by an angry racist father. And really, he, too, became angry and to be honest, sometimes that anger is warranted especially when he said that the situation that just happened has happened over a dozen times before. Those little suburban white boys will never understand where Karamo is coming from. And yes, Karamo should learn to deal with this anger and realize to lash out isn't the best, but I guess other people also need to realize that it's hard to always be the bigger person when you're constantly being treated unfairly, and in this case, discriminated against because of your color. This almost makes me want to read Beverly Tatum's Why Do All The Black Kids Sit Together In The Cafeteria? It's good stuff and has an interesting perspective on racism. It definitely opened my eyes and changed my views.

Hanni asked for my support today as she went and IMed some Russian kid she knew years ago, when we were in high school. They hung out a few times because they had a mutual friend through her ex-boyfriend/good friend now Brian. It's funny because she knew I could relate due to the Daniel thing from years past. It made me laugh and I told Daniel about it and well, we laughed together. We talk a bit more frequently these days on AIM and it's kinda nice. He called once or twice pre-accident to say hi and what's up... and one of those times got me out of having to talk to Jarrod Gathers at TGIFridays. So that was GREAT. And he called me post-accident a few times once he knew about it. I guess it's nice to know that we'll probably be friends for a long time even though we aren't real life friends in a sense. I have some weird relationships out there. I can say he is one of those people I can be really truthful too... I guess it's because our lives don't intersect at all except for those few days in Alaska three some years ago and I can be myself because he's doing his life in TX and I'm doing mine here. The buffer makes it easier to open up, I guess.

And sadly... I had my first dream where my real life invaded my dream world. I had a dream where I was in my wheelchair and it sucked. And I even had a dream where I was limping around due to the injury. ::insert bad four letter words here:: Give me back my dreams. That was the one place I didn't have to deal with this. Now I just feel like I've been violated, by my own subconscience. Damn.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

2 seriously hurt on old french road

A head-on crash in Millcreek Township sent two drivers to Hamot Medical Center in serious condition.

Michael Amendola, 49, 800 block of East Grandview Boulevard, and Vonda Bui, 21, 1200 block of German Street, were both listed in serious condition Sunday night, said a nursing supervisor.

Millcreek police said the accident happened in front of 5328 Old French Road at about 3:51 p.m. Police said Amendola's 1992 Chevrolet Lumina was northbound when it crossed over the center line and struck Bui's 1988 Audi 5000, which was southbound.

11 weeks and 1 day. And still so many weeks and days away from a full recovery. This was the mini little clip in the newspaper. Yup.

I've having a few issues with my physician or actually the lack of a physician. Ugh. I need to see someone as soon as possible about the friggin' meds. I was almost in tears on the phone with the appointment chick. I friggin' hate this sometimes. Or at least a strong dislike most of the time.

Gloria Gaynor... I Will Survive is playing on my playlist. How appropriate.

dizzy

I had to stop taking one of the meds because I need to make sure that it's OK to take with my other med. And I think I am slightly dizzy today because of it. I will get it all cleared with my regular physician on Monday. Bleh!

So today was "Let's be a loser and play games online ALL day long" day. It was kinda fun though. Tom signed on for once and he joined me on Yahoo games and we had a ball in one of the Texas Hold 'Em rooms. I admitted we cheated at times, but only when the other one had some crazy hand that obviously was going to beat the other persons. I can tell Tom played a lot because he already had 13,000 and when you start out, they only give you 1,000... so that means he has played far too much. I know what type of summer he had and his crazy social life, so I guess I am not surprised. Yay for Tom. Anyways, on Yahoo, they let you go into the negatives. It's kinda funny and yet embarrassing for those who do end up sucking that badly. Hopefully that will never be me.

I did something very old school... something I haven't done since I was 14 or 15 and getting addicted to the internet. I actually exchanged photos with some Vietnamese guy I was playing poker with. He was cute with glasses, but all his photos insinuated that he was definitely an AZN and not the typical Asian. Anyways it made me laugh that I actually did it. Asians unite!

Tomorrow I get to go out with Becky, pops, and the little ones. I am excited because I haven't been out since my doctor's appointment. Also Charlie drove in from Penn State to visit Michelle and I might to hang out with him in the evening and Ian too, since he has the evening off from work for once. But he is sick, so maybe not. Who knows... all I know is that I'm getting out of the house!

So now that I am allowed some weight on my leg, I decided to try a new way of using my crutches and I must say I have a much better rhythm with them now. I could imagine crutching around to places instead of always wheelchairing it up. Yay for that. And man, I can roll around in bed as if I were normal... almost. I do get few jolts of something in my right leg if I move it a little funnily. But nothing scary. It's kinda nice because I get so stiff sleeping in one position. It's fun to measure my progress by how well I can do small things that most people take for granted. :-)

Seriously, The Scissor Sisters are something crazy cool. Check out their far out music. It's the cat's pajamas, I promise. :-)

Last minute thought...
What I missed out on in the month of August: SCHOOL SHOPPING! Damn. :-P

say nope to mope

Charlie: Yeah, I'm sorry... I've thought about you every day, just hoping you'd get better and be Vonda again. Not that you ever weren't.. you were just Vonda, with a weird cyberhip.
Me: Yeah and a hip that is growing extra bone!
Charlie: :-) It'll get better. If it doesn't, I'll give you mine.
Me: Haha, you don't have birthing hips. :-P
Charlie: You'd be surprised.

That's Charlie... drunk and giving me all the support a girl could need. He told me to kick the physical me's ass and let the mental me win. I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it made enough sense to me. Oh how I miss that kid.

So I am still a bit mopey, but I need to say nope to mope. There isn't a lot I can do except kick my own ass into gear at physical therapy. Hopefully that will start next week. I am only slightly concerned with my meds right now. I will see my doctor on Monday, and hopefully things will be cleared up about what to do.

I talked to Tom tonight for a lengthy amount of time. He is always there and always listening - 16 years and counting. :-) Then I got to talk to my biatch Hanni. Her life is the best to live vicariously through. I have gotten so much humor out of her life... I think I could make a book or play about it all. It would be really cool if we three lived in New England after we graduated and got jobs nearby each other. We could live together in an apartment and be Three's Company like. That would be hilarious. It would definitely add some much needed spice to Tom's life, that's for sure. And I could keep Hanni from making some weird ass mistakes, haha. Oh how I miss my friends.

I've gotten so much love and support. I think Daniel's "Sabes que te amo" was one of the most touching in his joking way. He always knows how to use his language skills to "woo the ladies." Except, I'm no lady, I'm Vonda. :-) Getting an email from Catherine was really nice too, as well as all the IMs to wish me luck and such. It makes me almost cry to know I've got such good friends out there. That sounds cheesy, but it's true. I'm way more emotional than I've ever been. I remember when I got Jess J's card the day I got home from the hospital. When I read it, I just cried and cried and cried. What she wrote meant a lot. Anyways, before I get too sappy, I wanna say I'm feeling a little bit better and more accepting of my fate. I may not like it, but it's a part of my life and that won't ever change. I can only shape this experience into what I want it to be and not let it shape me into something I don't want to be. I can only hope for the best, try my best, and accept what God decides is best for me.

what can you do

Well... good news first. I can start physical therapy. I am allowed 30% weight bearing and probably some aquatherapy and all that jazz. So that is good that I was allowed. The med student came in first and looked at me and said "You're two months from surgery? Dr. Cross usually requires around 3 months non-weight bearing, but I'll check with him." My response word-for-word, "If you make it three months, I will cry." Dr. Cross came in and did a few exercises on me, think cheerleaders stretching just one leg. He basically moved my right leg around seeing what my motion was like. He said it was very good and somewhat reluctantly said I could put weight on it.

Other small good news: this injury does not affect me when it comes to childbirth. He said he did it so there wasn't any weird screws poking here or there and the metal is something special. Also I will most likely NOT set off detectors. And if I do, I will drop my pants and show them the incision scars from my surgery. That will prove the metal more than some special card.

The beginning of bad news... the people forgot to call my name and I ended up waiting 2 hours before I was even seen for an x-ray and then almost 3 hours before a doctor even saw me. It was very very frustrating.

Ok... here is the bad news now. I apparently have some weird bone growth that would inhibit hip/pelvis movement if not stopped. I think it's extraneous bone that is growing with the muscle. It could basically fuse my hip/pelvis in a weird way. I am starting to take meds to stop that from happening. As far as right now, we don't know what its effect will be on me... time will tell.

More bad news. Worse news. My next appointment with Dr. Cross is October 26th... the first day of B term. ::breathe:: Right now, B term is very much in jeopardy. I cannot be sure of a return now. I decided that I will see him that day and if all goes well, I will return to WPI the very next day and just miss the first day of classes and continue therapy at some instutition in Worcester. If things go bad, I will miss the whole semester and start in C term, which potentially ruins my possibilities of graduating on time (yeah, I'm gonna cry over this most likely... it's just a lot to take in all at once). Just when I feel the most mentally strong... I get hit with a possible devastating blow... all over again.

Because I'm retarded, I forgot to ask him a few other key questions which I plan on doing tomorrow over the phone, such as:
1. Will I be able to drive?
2. Do I have to keep taking the coumadin?

After the appointment, we went over to Josh's for dinner. It was nice. And Becky and I did a lot of talking today and it was good. There was a lot to be said.

Overall, I don't know whether to be happy or not. I get to start physical therapy, but it doesn't matter almost because I might not be able to return to school. It just isn't fair. I wish I could have these few months back, just have taken a different route to work that day. These were supposed to be some of the best months of my life. And now... they are some of my darkest. I was so optimistic and scared shitless at the same time going into this appointment... and now... things just seem a little bleak. But I need to keep hope alive. I need to think positively and I need to realize that this isn't the end of my life if I don't graduate on time or return for B term or if I have a freaky bone growth or if physical therapy doesn't go as planned. If I don't think positively, I'm gonna self crumble (believe that isn't pretty) and I REFUSE to let that happen. I am stronger than all of this. I am stronger than all of this. I am stronger than all of this.

here we go

This is me right now, pre-appointment... the appointment that is gonna determine the rest of this year...


This better be what I look like after my appointment...


Yes people, your first glimpse of me post accident. I made sure I looked good. ;-) Because I have had some ugly moments since the accident happened. If you look closely enough, my right (but left in the pictures) eye still isn't 100%. Come on nerves, lets work a little faster here!

There have been bad omens everywhere this week. My godfather/uncle is in the hospital and my grandfather just had a stroke TODAY and they don't know if he is going to make it. It's just not fair... my poor mom is so distraught, first my grandmother and now maybe my grandfather... if anything, anything! happens to my uncle... it would be devastating. Please God let them be OK. ::sigh:: And please, God, don't let me bad omen #3. You made me #2 last time... please just let something good happen, please.

Thanks everyone for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I will definitely jump for joy (at least mentally) if and when I get the good news. And in a few weeks, lets hope I can physically jump for joy. And if it's bad news... no, we won't even go there. It's gonna be good news. It just HAS to be.

eating my insides

I’ve been dreaming some weird stuff lately. This past dream had some weird cannibalistic vibes in it. I attribute this to a CSI episode I watched last week where kids tripping on PCP killed their other friend and THEN ate her insides. This is the first adverse CSI effect I’ve had. Luckily the dream wasn’t scary enough to keep me from watching the show again. I think it also has something to do with my nervousness about where life is headed... internal turmoil? Eating my insides? Maybe.

I downloaded some Scissor Sisters and their stuff is actually pretty good. They’ve been described as Elton John on crack. I feel a big Bee Gees vibe at times as well. The stuff keeps me energized. Next up: Keane. I have a very long list of music I’m interested in. I finally got some brains and actually wrote down the music I want. This time I won’t forget. I am very much craving the European music though. It’s just so good! I guess I am tired of some of the mainstream pop in America... everyone just sounds the same these days. I want DIFFERENT. Not “successful” or a “guaranteed hit.”

I got a fabulous card from my sisters. I think one of my favorite messages had to come from Carla. She wrote something to the extent of “Can’t wait until you come back. We’ll watch some porn!” Oh Denmark, how I miss your late night porn. :-P

It’s scary. The day I’ve been waiting for so long is almost here. And I’m slightly nervous. I better get the go ahead from Dr. Cross or I will most likely cry. And if and when I get the go ahead, I am very scared of physical therapy. It’s going to hurt so much. Whenever I’ve accidentally put weight on my right leg, my foot feels like pins and needles for the initial touch. That is not normal for most people, but I think it is normal for cripples like me I’m sure. I haven’t used that leg to walk in 10 weeks. But still... it hurts. It’s not fair really. Why do I have to go more? I mean it was bad enough to get in the car accident and break my pelvis and all that jazz. But now I have more pain through physical therapy even though I’m “healed.” It just sucks. It’s very frustrating to feel so good and yet be so limited. Finally, I feel like myself again mentally, but yet the physical me will take much longer to heal. It’s just not fair. ::sigh:: But what’s fair? I’m alive, right? Yeah, that’s something I gotta remember.

This week has been a slightly lonely week. I went out with Becky on Tuesday. And I won’t see her again until this Tuesday when she takes me to Pittsburgh. She is such a sweetheart. She is skipping class to take me as well. And then afterwards, we have a tentative dinner date at Josh’s (which should be interesting to say the least). Anyways, it’s almost kinda scary that although I am wicked lonely, I am starting to get used to this life. That is a very very BAD thing. I will not allow myself to be “used” to this life as an invalid. I need to do my best to be discontent until I am 100%. That way I will really drive myself; motivate! Because if I let myself get used to this, I know I won’t work nearly as hard to get back to where I was before July 11th.

I refuse to let this accident change me in a negative way. I will be Vonda Elizabeth Bui again. Not Vonda in the wheelchair. But Vonda the lazy walker! :-)

all in

With all the TV I watch, I've grown a fan of the World Series of Poker on ESPN. They are down to the finale and such and it's somewhat suspenseful to watch people go all in and either get lucky or get kicked out. ESPN is actually one of my default channels. They always have a good game on or some special on a famous sports person. It's relatively entertaining.

I dreamt of my apartment last night. The place was slightly altered from the real thing. And there were extra roommates I didn't know. I felt slightly out of place and I don't even think I was fully clothed either. Odd dream.

Let's see. My hip feels good, unless I'm moving in a weird position. My arm still aches, but not as severe as before. I definitely can tell that the nerves in my neck are healing. As far as I know, my eye is near normal as well. Ribs stop hurting a long time ago (although they do "pop" if I stretch in an interesting way). Tongue is healed except for one small sliver, but I don't think that will ever go away. The scars look alright, although the one from the surgery is still KILLER. Just wait until you see it, it's cccrazy. 7 days until I see my surgeon again. Yes.

slow motion

Life is starting to move a bit too slowly. Just as the 21st gets close, my life just feels like a cheap finish line replay where it takes me 50 bagillion seconds to cross the yellow tape. Anyways...

I had a dream the other night where I found a quilt and one of the big patches was part of my baby blanket. I am pretty sure my parents threw it out since they don't believe in that sentimental nonsense (they are Asian, it's expected). But it was startling to see it and in the dream, I grabbed it and wouldn't let go (think Linus from Charlie Brown). So what in my life am I not letting go of?

I do know something Asian parents get sentimental over... good grades. :-P My dad used to carry in his wallet my freshman year report card because I was ranked 1 out 206 in my class. That's about all they get proud over. But they didn't show they were proud to me, just boasted to other people. Being a good student doesn't get much reward in my house - it's expected already, so why reward? Unless you are a bad student like my brother... then they will bribe you with anything to do something.

I have a brand new appreciation for CSI. There was a marathon on SpikeTV and it was all I watched this week. It's a super good show. I still don't know if I would watch it in its regular time slot since it does run again Will & Grace and well... I just can't give that up. Let's all have a moment of thanks for William's TiVo. :-P

Three years since 9/11. Wow.

To answer Jon Abad's question about my reacher, I found a photo online of it. Very similar.

So not quite a claw, but very handy for the handicapped. Also great for those who are lazy. :-P

I miss school a great deal. It's so nice to talk to most people on a daily basis, but then you feel like you are missing out on something when they talk about their day to day lives. Like this weekend, I miss the last A term AGD retreat as well as a SocComm retreat. Not fair. Meh. I just need to swallow that feeling and stay up to date on people's lives. Just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't care. :-) Oh WPI, how I miss thee.

roll over

Yes people, I can now roll over in bed. It takes a bit of effort but I can do it and it's relatively pain free. I can choose to sleep on my stomach if I want to. I am pretty tired of sleeping on my back. Next up is sleeping on my side. Hopefully that will come along soon. It is my favorite position to sleep in.

Bush... well let's see. We parked about 4 or 5 blocks away because all the streets around the stadium were closed off due to security. Ian and Hanni had to roll me along and man the bumps from the sidewalks definitely left me sore after the whole experience. As we were walking to the event (still at least two blocks from it), some Republican bitch working the event walks by us and screams to Hanni, "No purses!" in the rudest way and Hanni replies "It's a camera!" and the bitch still replies "No purses!" like a retard. And as all these people are walking to the event, they walk by a whole bunch of "Steelworkers for Kerry" signs on this lady's lawn. We were thinking "She rocks!" and a few of the Republicans walking by just had really ignorant comments to make and the lady would just laugh. We waved to her and then gave her the thumbs up. I hope she knew that we were Kerry kids. We were the only people without Bush signs or flags or anything. Also, there were these really AWESOME people who dressed up as snotty looking "billionares" and were walking around with signs that said "Billionares for Bush." They were awesome. Hanni loved them. We wanted to hit the guy on the corner who had a sign that said "Democrats for Bush." Ugh, he sucked at life... what a Benedict. And there were all these guys selling Bush pins... we wanted to buy one. But only so we could pull a Napoleon Dynamite and throw it down the street like crazy people. But we couldn't because we didn't want to fund his campaign even if it meant a good laugh.

It was sooo hot out. I was sweating bullets. As for the security check, I got patted down by the secret service since my wheelchair obviously was going to set off the metal detectors. She even patted my butt so as to make sure I wasn't sitting on anything in my wheelchair. What a great time. Anyways, we had to sit through a few Republican speakers. Phil English - yuck, we all dislike him and find him annoying. And Arlen Spector - meh, whatever. Hanni and I were nervous though. We were afraid the anti-christ from PA would show up. Hanni threatened to leave if he showed. And dammit I thought we were safe but mother! He was the last speaker before Bush. Friggin' Rick Santorum - gawd I hate that fucker. He is seriously someone I grotesquely dislike, maybe even actually TRULY hate. Anyways, Hanni had to hold back vomit during his talk. Luckily he was short and then it was just a wait until Bush. You knew he was coming when the secret service guys put the president's seal onto the podium. It was almost comical, like a good skit was gonna come on. And as the busses pulled in, the stadium went crrrrrazy. There probably around 15,000 people present. And I honestly think that me, Hanni, and Ian were the ONLY ones not clapping. And I think those around us didn't like us. They would kinda take peeks at us because we would make Democratic remarks in response to things said in Bush's speech. And then when Bush started talking about the "activist judges" and all that jazz, Hanni couldn't hold it in and screamed "BIGOT!" as loud as she could. That's when everyone around us REALLY knew that we weren't Bush fans. I started to only slightly fear for my cripple life. The lady next to Hanni moved to a different place after Hanni screamed bigot. It was kinda funny. We were really civilized otherwise. As for his speech in general, it was nothing special and almost an exact copy of his RNC speech. He stumbled in his speech and stuttered funnily about two times, which got smirks from the entire audience, even those that love him. You can't deny the man has some speaking skills to learn still. His wife and daughters were with him as well although they really did nothing (Laura introduced him and that's it). This event, of course, has not changed my vote in any way. It was an interesting time though and it's important to hear the other side, even if you don't like it. It's important to be informed. And entertained. ;-)

Lame part of the rally: all the damn COUNTRY music. ::vomit::

Cool part of the rally: all the damn SECURITY! There were around 5 guys on the roof of my high school with what looked to be high-tech looking scope-thingies (wow, I am technologically handicapped as well haha). They were scanning the crowd and the surroundings the whole time. It was very cool.

Regret: Because we chose to go to the Bush event, we missed out on the anti-Bush rally downtown at Perry Square. I think that's where we ultimately belonged.

Anyways, the rest of my Labor Day weekend was spent going out with friends. I went to lunch with Becky and her family (minus her mom... it's a dad and daddy's little girls lunch thing). Becky's dad could not stop raving about the theatre. He finally went to his first ever professional show, Hairspray, in Toronto and he was BLOWN away. We told him he was behind in the times because me and Becky already had a love for the theatre. He's so funny when he gets excited. His flaw: raging Republican, haha. He asked if my vote was changed after the event and I gave a firm no and he laughed. :-)

John John came into town randomly and he and Hanni came over and we talked for a few hours. We talk about the weirdest stuff and always end up laughing so hard, we're almost crying. It was nice.

And finally, I saw Paparazzi with Ian on Monday. It was a so-so movie and very short. There was one really cool death scene/idea that was super clever. But the rest of the movie was mediocre and kinda expected. I don't think I liked the ending either. It was wicked anti-climatic. Anyways... not worth it unless you saw it for free (like me). :-)

My right leg and hip area definitely feel oodles stronger. Or strong in general. Two more weeks. Just two more weeks! I can't wait to work it. Because my right leg is gross in my opinion. Not ugly but just gross and fat because all the muscle is gone. Well not all, but it's definitely not like the other leg. And I can't wait to be rid of the wheelchair. My brother is just full of jokes and meanness. When he doesn't want me to come into the room, he throws pillows on the ground knowing I can't roll over them nor pick them up without my reacher (I am not supposed to bend over a 90 degree angle). Just wait til I am walking again. That jokester is going to get it from his older sister!

bush

Yup... I am going to see him in a few hours. Oh boy. I promise to not clap or anything or yell (unless it's a YOU SUCK... but I am more cultured than that :-)) . I am going with Hanni and Ian. It should be an interesting time. Good entertainment at least. I can't wait to see some raging loony republicans in action.

I saw Napoleon Dynamite again with Hanni and Brian. It was still funny, especially with Brian laughing at everything because he has the most contagious laugh... EVER. But it's so loud, you want to tell him to Shhhhhhh and quiet it down haha. Anyways, it's an idiosyncratic movie and you need to enjoy some quirkiness to get it for all its value.

My brother lost his wallet the other day and home life has been so temperish with him. He's so grouchy over it and I would be too... but he needs to chill and stop having mom search the house. He lost it, not mom. Anyways, I think he is finally over it and got a lot of the stuff replaced. All that is left is the SS card and an ID of some sort. $90 gone though. Sucks. Oh well!

Time for bed and a quick Sports Center to see who lost the night games at the US Open. I can't wait until I can pick up a racket and play again some day. Next spring maybe. :-)